Parenting Wisdom from Remote Control Cars

Sitting on the floor while his son zips around with a remote control car, Rabbi Meister reflects on how parenting has changed—and how it hasn’t.

When he was a kid, remote control cars weren’t like this. He might’ve even been a little intimidated by them. But today, he’s watching his son enjoy one with pure joy. How did his son get the car? It wasn’t random. It was a choice his wife gave him: Lego, a remote control car, or a squishmallow.

That moment of choice wasn’t just good parenting—it was classic Torah-based parenting.

Rabbi Meister shares that his wife was actually following advice from the Rambam, also known as Maimonides, one of the greatest Jewish thinkers and legal authorities from nearly a thousand years ago. The Rambam taught that when it comes to raising children, incentives—prizes, rewards, positive reinforcement—often do more than punishment ever could.

You could fight with a child to get them to behave. You could raise your voice or dig in with endless discipline. But the Rambam’s wisdom reminds us: you’ll get farther (and preserve the relationship) by rewarding the good instead.

And as Rabbi Meister humorously notes, it’s also a lot cheaper than the therapy that might be needed if constant conflict becomes the norm.

This isn’t about bribing kids or spoiling them. It’s about recognizing that kids, like adults, respond well when they feel empowered and appreciated. Offering choices and rewards is one way to teach values, responsibility, and self-control—without the battles.

Sometimes Torah shows up in deep philosophical texts. Other times, it’s buzzing across the floor in the form of a tiny, high-speed toy. Either way, the message is the same: meet people where they are, and guide with kindness.